Credo of the Web Log Writer

I WANT TO BE A WEB LOG WRITER.

    I will create an ugly website using warez software and adinfested free web hosts.

    I will write something every other day about my boring and uninteresting life.

    I will write in “Hackerese” and forego the use of initial caps, for caps are for the weak and non-1337.

    I will become an avid reader, loyal fan, and devout worshipper of the most popular “A-List” Web Log  Writers.

    I will learn how to do what they do, only not as well.

    I will purchase gifts for them via PayPal and their Amazon Wish Lists.

    I will frequent their CafePress Stores.

    I will submit my site for review by any Internet critic with a website.

    I will not become discouraged when they fail to reply to my emails or notice my website or me.

    I will never give up in my quest.

    I will become a Web Log Writer.

    I will buy my own domain and create a new website of depth and beauty.

    I will write something every day about my boring yet somehow compellingly interesting life.

    I will reacquaint myself with the ‘shift’ button and stop spelling words in ‘Hackerese’, for that is for the young and immature.

    I will create links to “A-listers” in the hopes of being noticed.

    I will do what they do, only better.

    I will create my own Paypal account and Amazon Wish List.

    I will open a CafePress Store.

    I will forego sleep and my weekends because I value my small, yet growing, readership.

    I will get average reviews from minor website critics.

    I will work hard and garner a loyal following whose ranks will grow larger every day.

    I will become an “A-list” Web Log Writer.

    I will be featured in a book or magazine.

    I will write something every few days about my exciting and interesting life, and my words will be as gospel to the unwashed masses.

    I will write poetry and buy a webcam.

    I will only link to other “A-List” Web Log Writers and ignore wannabes who link to me.

    Other Web Log Writers will do what I do, only worse.

    I will ignore my readership and become involved in an Internet romance or attend live meetings with other “A-List” Web Log Writers.

    I will stop caring about my visitors because they’re not worth my time.

    I will be a “Has-Been” Web Log Writer.

    I will become disillusioned by Web Log Writing and the Internet in general.

    I will write a poignant, sarcastic, mean-spirited farewell entry to alienate any visitors I might have left.

    I will let my site rot and my links die.

    Other Web Log Writers will do what I used to do, only better.

    I will find a new job because my Internet romance will die and the other “A-List” Web Log Writers will stop calling me.

    I will be forced to closemy CafePress store due to inactivity.

    I will not be on anyone’s favorites lists, not even my own.

    I will come to the realization that I miss the life of a Web Log Writer.

    I will create a new pseudonym and persona to shield myself from recognition.

    I will begin my quest now.

    For I want to be a Web Log Writer.

    [Geekman at the themightygeek.com (2001), We’ve got blog, 2002:119]

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