I WANT TO BE A WEB LOG WRITER.
I will create an ugly website using warez software and adinfested free web hosts.
I will write something every other day about my boring and uninteresting life.
I will write in “Hackerese” and forego the use of initial caps, for caps are for the weak and non-1337.
I will become an avid reader, loyal fan, and devout worshipper of the most popular “A-List” Web Log Writers.
I will learn how to do what they do, only not as well.
I will purchase gifts for them via PayPal and their Amazon Wish Lists.
I will frequent their CafePress Stores.
I will submit my site for review by any Internet critic with a website.
I will not become discouraged when they fail to reply to my emails or notice my website or me.
I will never give up in my quest.
I will become a Web Log Writer.
I will buy my own domain and create a new website of depth and beauty.
I will write something every day about my boring yet somehow compellingly interesting life.
I will reacquaint myself with the ‘shift’ button and stop spelling words in ‘Hackerese’, for that is for the young and immature.
I will create links to “A-listers” in the hopes of being noticed.
I will do what they do, only better.
I will create my own Paypal account and Amazon Wish List.
I will open a CafePress Store.
I will forego sleep and my weekends because I value my small, yet growing, readership.
I will get average reviews from minor website critics.
I will work hard and garner a loyal following whose ranks will grow larger every day.
I will become an “A-list” Web Log Writer.
I will be featured in a book or magazine.
I will write something every few days about my exciting and interesting life, and my words will be as gospel to the unwashed masses.
I will write poetry and buy a webcam.
I will only link to other “A-List” Web Log Writers and ignore wannabes who link to me.
Other Web Log Writers will do what I do, only worse.
I will ignore my readership and become involved in an Internet romance or attend live meetings with other “A-List” Web Log Writers.
I will stop caring about my visitors because they’re not worth my time.
I will be a “Has-Been” Web Log Writer.
I will become disillusioned by Web Log Writing and the Internet in general.
I will write a poignant, sarcastic, mean-spirited farewell entry to alienate any visitors I might have left.
I will let my site rot and my links die.
Other Web Log Writers will do what I used to do, only better.
I will find a new job because my Internet romance will die and the other “A-List” Web Log Writers will stop calling me.
I will be forced to closemy CafePress store due to inactivity.
I will not be on anyone’s favorites lists, not even my own.
I will come to the realization that I miss the life of a Web Log Writer.
I will create a new pseudonym and persona to shield myself from recognition.
I will begin my quest now.
For I want to be a Web Log Writer.
[Geekman at the themightygeek.com (2001), We’ve got blog, 2002:119]